Baby Girl Mathatas, coming February 2020!

It's been a while since I have blogged, as in like 4 years.  But let's be honest, it's been a while since any of us have blogged, or read a blog, or even thought the word "blog." I have no idea if anyone will ever read this but I have felt lately like blogging would be good.  It's like journaling which really helps me emotionally.  Since I last blogged we had a baby boy, Thomas, in April 2018.  I had a miscarriage in March 2019 and we were really lucky to get pregnant right after that and are now expecting a little girl in February 2020.  We had our 20 week ultrasound this past week.  I was honestly going to be happy with either a girl or a boy.  I thought having a girl would be exciting but too much to expect.  Each time I have gone to that 20 week ultrasound I have gotten the gender I was kinda hoping for.  It's surprising to me and probably obnoxious to many others.  I was thinking about it this morning and how Heavenly Father answers our prayers in different ways to teach us different things.  I don't know where I heard this but I have heard:

He answers:
Yes-to give us confidence
No-to correct our course
Withholds an answer-to help us grow. 

So maybe Heavenly Father is trying to strengthen my confidence in the fact that He loves me, maybe I sometimes do know what's best for me.  I don't know.  There are probably a million reasons we are having a girl now and only a few have to do with me.

More than anything, it was so reassuring to have them do the full anatomy scan and see that everything is as it should be.  Perfect little feet and hands, heart, brain, etc.  What a huge blessing, considering the miscarriage (with three ultrasounds and nothing that really looked much like a baby), the things our other kids have had, and their cousin Ethan, who was born with HLHS. 

Patience

I have trouble (to put it lightly) with patience. When I want something, I want it now! If it's a good thing, why should I have to wait?

The reason I am writing this post is for those who have felt this way for any length of time. I want to share what has helped me. I feel strongly that my Heavenly Father wants me to learn patience at this time. Because I struggle with this, I have gone looking for help. Here are some things that have helped me to see things in perspective.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk from last priesthood session is very helpful, he talks about having patience when we don't understand why Heavenly Father is withholding a particularly good blessing from us.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin gave this talk a couple years ago which reminds me that we should enjoy life while we're experiencing it, and not only look forward to tomorrow.

I love this Mormon Message from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. I tear up pretty much every time I watch it.

Last of all, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a talk about how blessings for others doesn't lessen the blessings we have received or will receive.

I hope this post is helpful to someone, sometime. I think we often struggle alone, thinking we are the only one who has felt the way we do.

P.S. One more article that is helpful is "But if not..." by Dennis E. Simmons.